We've been here before. I told you guys I don't get into the "pros" of Chicago visitations because they're cliche, boring, been heard before, and nobody wants to deal with them. What do you want me to say "it was so nice to have a piece of home here " or "there's nothing like having an old friend here"
Let's get one thing straight. You know those people you tell your friends about that are just "so easy to have around." Yeah, that's about the last way to describe Kristie Mewis. After she visited me two weekends in a row last month, I came to the following conclusion: hosting people kind of sucks.
If you want to read about the optimism and love head over to Sam's section. Let's get real and talk about how horrible it is having to entertain people. Here were her main drawbacks:
1. The logistical questions: I can't take it. If you are gonna have someone come, make sure they're not a fashionista, because they'll ask for a La Croix or beauty product every 15 minutes, until you can't possibly fathom how there was a time when cavemen survived on just food, shelter, and water. Like no, I don't have q tips, your lucky I have toilet paper. I've never heard of a contour brush, and I don't know what makes it so "special." Oh, and I'm sorry my curler isn't a "big to narrow barrel," I still use the Suave green apple kids spray detangler with the Octopus on it.
2. The drama with the TV. You guys won't know this, but Kristie is actually hard of hearing. Wanna know what's worse than someone hard of hearing? Someone who's hard of hearing and likes to watch reality tv at 11 pm. Kristie's on the couch with full access to my Sony surround sound- and there's Sony Surround sound at volume 47, and then there's Sony surround sound with Vicky from real house wives at volume 47.
3. Finally, unlike most of my teammates, I'm relatively new to Chicago. When I'm here alone I stick to a routine. I venture out when I can, but I try to save the "tourist activities" for when people come visit. Low and behold, Kristie gets here and guess what. She's labeled herself as a local and refuses to do anything "touristy." " you wanna go to the bean or navy pier?" Steph I'm not a tourist? Fair play to that I guess. But Kristie is so obsessed with not being a loser tourist that it narrows down our activity list to essentially doing nothing except sitting in the corner of a bar/ restaurant babbling nonsense.
4. This isn't necessarily a con of hosting Kristie, but more just general food for thought. For YEARS I've been trying to get Kristie to read more. Specifically, on current events, so when I bring up topics of discussion pertinent to the current times she has perspective to debate. (when Kristie does put effort into academia/ conversation, she's very smart.) Well, my plan totally backfired. Instead of reading articles/ the news, Kristie has dove head first in to the trashy Mystery books that are always Number 1 bestsellers at the Hudson News stores. You know the ones I'm talking about? That are written by authors that have like 100 of the same exact books. Her newfound obsession with D-list murder fiction is as surprising as it is bizarre for a 5'10" blonde bombshell who has loathed any form of literature to date. But hey, anything to keep the TV down.
PS: My life dilemma: When you host people, is it proper etiquette to make them sleep on the couch? I think so.