Welcome to Boston: Logan "Masshole" Airport

How did I know the Patriots were gonna roll through the AFC championship this weekend? Because I didn’t have to look any further than Logan Boston International airport. 

I’ve always said you can tell a lot about a city’s passion for its sports by the people at the airport. They say the definition of character is what you do when no one is watching. And I’d argue that for a sports fan, wearing replica t-shirts/ jerseys while you travel is the definition of doing just that. 

No one cares what you’re wearing at the airport. No one is going to see what your traveling in, because I’d bet my life the people below don’t do “Facebook” or “Instagram”. By taking the extra minute to show their Pats pride by throwing on their Patriots jersey before their unmarried, Bud Light drinking Aunt/Uncle drops them off to go to Disney World, the fan gains nothing but gives everything. 

Because lets face it: replica tee shirts and jerseys aren’t comfortable. Especially when your sitting for a long time. The man in front of me in a Brady jersey kept itching where the stitching on the #12 chaffed against the crease of his stomach the whole flight like he was a Kindergartner with chicken pox. Did he complain? No. Did he listen to his wife when she said “YA PRAHBABLY SHOULDT WEAAH THAT BAHHB ITS GONNA BE SO ITCHY FOR YAH ON THE PLANE.” No. You wanna see the character of a New England Sports fan? Look no further than Terminal C on a Saturday morning. 

Prime Examples: 

  1. There was a woman wearing a “They hate us cuz they ain’t us” t-shirt in line at our gate. Her husband walked over to her and said “Hey hun, I got you a diet Snapple.” she glared at him with a look of terror only previously matched by the climax of the Harry Potter Movies. “Come ahhn, John, I’m not gonna drink that. It’s all chemicals and you know I like the regular raspberry. This doesn’t have any of the nutrients."
  2. The older man in the security line, wearing a shirt, tie, leather jacket, and strong but subtle patriots pin. He was on the phone and I heard him say “ Of course I didn’t respond- you know I don’t answer texts after 8 p.m.”
  3. The man sitting behind us, in Acsics running sneakers, Adidas three stripes windbreaker pants, and a t-shirt sporting the line, “In dog beers I’ve only had one,” that for some reason also had a Red Sox logo on it. No action required from this guy.

Those were my top 3, but I could have picked out legit 50. The common denominator here is that Pats fans are bootstraps, blue-collar, die for their team people. They all know what they need to get ready to base their entire emotional well being on a football game that comes around once a year: getting the full nutrients from their Snapples, having each Bud Light to count as 1/7 of a beer, or not to be bothered at night on the weekdays. To each their own. We may not all be the same, but we'll all be ready. 


I touched on this in a tweet, but I got the typical, “This is more evidence the patriots are cheaters” messages on my Twitter. I heard about the Patriots fan being arrested for pulling the fire alarm at the Steelers hotel (which just so happened to be nearby Logan Airport.) I’m not saying I condone it. But I am saying, to the Steelers fans and general population of people who "hate us cause they ain't us" that are up in arms calling us cheaters, that if you won more games during the regular season you would have gotten home field advantage. You guys could have avoided the entire New England, Logan airport area, aka the capital of masshole mania, in the first place.