The Ragamuffin Holiday Guide continues. For those of you who have seen our holiday gift guides in Overtime and Kristie's Closet, you now have a bunch GREAT ideas for any last minute shopping. Snowballing off of that, here's another glimpse into my borderline delusional mindset to discuss another burning Christmas question: WHO DO WE HAVE TO GIVE THESE GIFTS TO?!
1) Siblings: The question here isn't, "Do I have to get them something?" It's "What bracket of quality and price do I go for?" Last year for the whole month of December, my older brother Jimmy was talking up the gift he got me. I started putting myself under a lot of pressure to return the favor. I walked around Nordstrom for an hour and a half and settled on a $120 Burberry tie. Christmas morning rolls around, and I bee-line it for Jimmy's present and tear open the box to find a $15 t-shirt that says, "Pugs Not Drugs" on the front. Yeah I love pugs, but like, come on Jimmy. When I confronted him he told me that I was "shallow" and "basic" for thinking that a great present was based upon price and not thought or meaning. I'd still rather have the burberry tie.
2) The "You don't have to get me anything" crowd: Listen, I don't have time for your mind games. We all have enough on our plate this time of year. If I ask you what you want for Christmas, and you grin and murmur, "You don't have to get me anything," then you're NOT GETTING ANYTHING. Take your guilt parade on Christmas morning somewhere else. It's not my fault I did what you asked.
2a) The dealmakers: These people belong in the same guilt-trip category as the don't-get-anything people. I'm a huge fan of the pre-Christmas "we're not doing gifts" deal making. Its a great way to save money and check people off your list. But if we say we're not doing gifts, WE'RE NOT DOING GIFTS. Don't say you were at Claire's and the packs of 15 stud earrings were buy one get one free so you just figured you'd give it to me. Don't get me a bottle of nail polish. Don't even get me chapstick. Undermining the deal with these little, I'm just so thoughtful I couldn't help it, presents will do nothing but make me feel like the morally inferior person. A deal is a deal people!
3) Friends: The which-friends-to-get-gifts-for game was frying my brain, so I decided to just quantify this one. If I talk to you on the phone more than 3 times a week, every week, then I get you a present. Right now the only people that applies to is Sam or Kristie, but we made a DEAL (see above) to not get anything. We'd rather spend the time trying to get our new women's sports/lifestyle media empire off the ground. That officially leaves me with zero friends I have to shop for this year. More blogs for you, more money for me.
Emergency presents: This year, I bought two, around $20, what I call "emergency gifts." I made sure they were something I would like to have in case I don't have to use them. But from 2013-2015, I started getting what I call "trapped." My Christmas Day party is huge with over 30 people. Every year at least one person would tap me quietly and go, "I know we don't usually do this but I just thought you'd really love it." It was incredibly nice of them. So thoughtful. But you should have seen me trying to backtrack and babble my way out of why I didn't have anything for them. Last year I tried to lie and say, "OMG, I got you this mascara," intending to take the mascara that my mom got for me out of my stocking. Little did I know, my mom had already had a Maybelline mascara rave-session with said person. She KNEW it was a gift from my mother, the Maybelline queen. I was caught, I was ashamed, but this year I won't be the one left with my pants down. My emergency presents are ready, quietly tucked away underneath the tree in red and gold wrapping paper, ready to save me from embarrassment. Hopefully the person that I get roped into giving it to doesn't read this before Sunday...